Are you more of a talker or more of a listener?

Sober I'm a great listening. Drunk I'm a talker

Ask me anything

If you were offered the job of U.S. president would you take the job?

hell no. I see whats happening to the first Negroe.

Ask me anything

I dunno

">


So I woke up this morning singing this song. Yes I know that's very strange but for those of you who know me its par for the course.
Well I'm looking at the video and I have a great idea. Robin Thicke could re-do this song. I think they look similar. Also what's up with the Negroes in the video doing acrobatics.

Lessons Learned

From time to time I like to reflect on some things the people in my life have taught me. I have been fortunate enough to have some good people share wisdom with me.  Today the spot light belong to my Jewish people. I love  Jews. They are funny, loyal , and intelligent. Most importantly they've never been late with my pay check.
So a big Shalom  the Jews. 
This list in no particular order


1.There's nothing like a good deal, except for a better one.


2. You don't pay full price for things.


3. Treat your co-workers well.


4. Loyalty is rewarded


5. It's not cheating if you don't get caught or have a great reason for it.


6. If it's not about money what the hell are we talking about.


7. Cut the check


8. Would you piss on the Mona Lisa? Of course not. Then you wouldn't put mayo on a Pastrami sandwich.


9. You don't purchase your pastrami from Subway.


10. Rye Bread! When you order pastrimi on white bread somewhere a Jew is killed


11. Bagels are good. They better with lox or white fish.


12. Matzah is good keeps your shit tight.


13. Everybodys got a price the goal is to make them work for less.


14. Always ask the worse they can do is say no.


15. When someone asks you to go to lunch that means they are paying. Now if the person says hey would you like to go to lunch with me that schmuck has no intentions of paying.


16. Success is being able to save likes it's no ones business, live life to the fullest, and still have money left over. 


17.  Always give more, people will respect you for it.


18. Being crafty is an art form.


19. Everyones got an angle 


20. Life is easy when you don't believe in hell


21. No ones' got more hook-ups then a Jew. Yes your man might be able to get you a bootleg CD. But a good Jew will get you a record deal.


22. Gossip is not a bad thing.


23. The question is not important the answer is money


24. Jewish people are funny. The older the funnier


25. You never tell everything


26. Free is good

How to spot a douche!

This chart is on the money. I don't trust men with the facial hair on the chin and no mustache. Also dudes who just rock that little patch of hair under their chins are douche bags.  Dudes with the real thin beard are slick you gotta watch those bastards. Thin mustaches are shady too.  Any dude who get those designs in his beard prolly wears Ed Hardy t-shirts which automatically makes him a Giant Douche Nozzle.